Who said you need to upgrade your motherboard to get USB? Just buy this $100 adapter and magically upgrade your parallel port to USB. I wonder if it has drivers for the Windows 95 you have on the computer though. I guess another option would be to just purchase a used computer that has USB and 10 times the computing power for about half the price of the adapter. I wonder how many dozens of these they have sold…
Thanks to Dave96z34 for sending in this crazy find.