Guess what this isn’t contest – 3

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No emails this time, we are going to do another Guess what this isn’t contest since the last one was so much fun! Simply reply in the comments what this device isn’t. 🙂 Make it funny, crazy, weird… Just use your imagination. You can enter more than once if you come up with more than one thought. With a short vote the best comment will win the prize. The prize this week will help you install or trouble-shoot your LAN, it may save you some time when hunting out the problem wire connection. This contest will run from August 16, 2008 – August 21, 2008 . Ending time is based on central standard time.

Have a look at my first comment for an example entry.

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Added September 5, 2008 

The winner is Bill Beaty

"It’s the beam generator for DOCTOR LENARD’S HAIR TATTOO(tm). Whether your goal is a Lily Munster patch or a full body zebra-stripes treatment, Hair Tattoo comes through(tm). After the painful radiation-blisters fall away, hair follicles will be permanently altered to only produce filaments of frosty white."

Thanks to all who entered.

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Below are some pictures of the prize. 

 

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139 Comments


  1. This is a glass fishing bobber from the 40’s. The ones made today are usually red and white plastic.


  2. This is the emitter device used in a attempt to make a portal gun. But in the end all it did was turn peapole in to chickens.


  3. Its a suppository for chuck norris


  4. Cathode Ray Tube


  5. A bottle of vodka


  6. Cathode Ray Bong


  7. This is a crucial time inverting part from Dr. Horrible’s freeze ray…


  8. Plasma rifle compression tube, obviously.


  9. Its an old fashion turkey baster. This one features dual basting action.


  10. It’s a “yard of ale” for robots.


  11. It isn’t a robot enema kit.


  12. it’s mainly to distract people, you put it somewhere and when people stop to try and figure out what it is, you steal their wallets.


  13. On first sight I would say an early cathode ray tube, however on closer inspection it appears to be a rectal thermometer for elephants.


  14. Its the Plasma Manifold for the Doomsday Device. MWAhahaa


  16. OMG, it’s the new iMac!!


  17. cathode ray tube with out the aiming magnets


  18. It is our known universe encapsulated and sitting on Gods table. With teets to sucker the string theorists into alternate dimensions.


  19. It’s one of those quote/unquote, wink..wink…Female Robot Neck Massagers


  20. It isn’t a picture to electron converter


  21. It isn’t a WASER Pistol — Water Amplification by Stimulated Emmision of Radiation water pistol


  23. Ship in a Bottle kit for a submarine.


  24. It is a ship in a bottle without the ship.


  25. it isn’t a mini-ramscoop model


  26. This.. is one of the first commercial fart bombs


  27. I hope it isn’t a rectal Galileo thermometer.


  28. It is a Glass Eye.

    You insert it, and it goes right through a hole in your brain that the Mad Doctor made connecting directly to the Visual Cortex at the back of your head.


  29. This is just simply Ben Franklin’s fisrt attempt at inventing the bong.


  30. Thomas Edison, lightbulb prototype #1027


  31. This is an ancient staff head from a staff of a lost tribe many years ago, possibly representing their sun god. Carbon dating shows it’s over 3000 years old and other testing shows that the residue inside once glowed brighter than the sun! The stand for it was made out of the staff itself, because it was of such little interest to those who found it at the time, who were not archaeologists or researchers of any kind… more like souvenir pirates… though they kept the warning label, using today’s advanced technology we can translate as saying “Warning: May cause ocular bleeding, severe disintegration, or wrath of Gods and/or Goddesses. Please use responsibly and only under supervision of a licensed shaman or witchdoctor.”


  32. one of the first pen invented… the company claimed “This will be the last pen you will buy ever… The pen with the biggest ink container of all time !”…”but wait, call by mail in the next 45 minutes and you will receive a original Benjamin Franklin’s Kite for free” 🙂 Sorry for my little english (my mother laguage is french)


  33. that my pipe


  34. Its a digital wine decanter


  35. Its a flux capacitor for installation into a squirrels giving them time travel capability’s for only half a acorn’s weight in uranium
    Installation details are incomplete but it generally involves duct tape a rubber band some form of paper clip and usually a hammer.


  36. This was the first attempt at human cloning, constructed on a large scale and then shrunk with the government’s, still-secret, shrinking technology, this ROBOTIC SPERM CELL was made out of glass and filled with specifically engineered genetic materials. The robot would then be launched at a captive female egg; upon entry of the egg wall, the impact would shatter the glass shell therefore releasing the genetic material and successfully fertilizing the egg. The project was scrapped due to the fact that it was proven cheaper by economists to hire a cheap hooker and inject her with whatever was of interest than follow through with the experiment.


  37. this is the first known vibrator.


  38. It’s a Banana!!!!


  41. It’s not a pretend glass machine gun.


  42. It is a container for pure overrated comedy. One teet for Jack Black and the other For Will Ferrell.


  43. its a gyno exam tube for the porn industry…


  44. This isn’t the world’s smallest ship-in-a-bottle. (So small as to be nearly invisible…such painstaking work!)


  45. This is clearly a primitive one time use Gauss Rifle. In addition to launching a projectile, the shattering glass also causes close range AOE damage.


  46. fart tester . test the flammibitly of the gas from your rectum.


  47. This is the only surviving component, of the device that makes cars get 200 mile per gallon, after the BIG 3 got wind of it.


  48. It is… just heavy enough to keep the ‘lighter than air’ wooden part from floating away.


  49. This is the first attempt at a test tube baby, needless to say disappointment followed a) because the infant seen here lying on its back had a large head,long neck and only 1 arm and leg but also b) because the researcher had taken the request too literally


  50. It is a machine used to test the density of post apocalyptic ash… Sadly it has never been able to be used…


  51. Its an x-ray tube.


  52. it is a rectal thermometer


  53. Single-use baseball bat.


  54. This isn’t the most comfortable catheter in the world, but it gets the job done…


  55. OMG!, is the grandma’s ear aid device, thanks thanks… she lost it some years ago… HEY GRANDMA! SEE YOU THIS!


  56. It’s a revolutionary light bulb that is so efficient it will last 25yrs on a single watch battery.


  57. This was supposed to be the gun used in Scarface but then they realized you could see how much ammo was still in the gun.


  58. This is the latest in hybrid engine technology, developed by Exxon Hatin’ Motors Inc.
    It runs off air and a hatred of high gas prices, two of the most renewable resources known to man.


  59. It’s a device for catching farts in a bottle. Put the bottle on one nipple, and the other… well I’m sure you can figure it out.


  60. It is the first attempt at a Word War II transparent panzerschreck. The design never caught on though, due to troops loosing them after setting them down.


  61. This is a very professional stomage content guessing device – if it doesn’t fit completely – the stomage must be full or at least containing something you ate (i think) – you can wire the device for more light inside – so your noble guess will eventually turn out right or wrong – also sold as family entertainment package for those traveling abroad. If the device get (r)ejected the food was to bad to keep.


  62. An anti-matter digital photograph taken with an anti-matter digital camera of an early cathode ray tube made completely of anti-matter on an anti-matter wooden stand made of an anti-matter trees, anti-matter wood stain, anti-matter lacquer, anti-matter wood glue on an anti-matter table with an anti-matter backdrop.


  64. Its an electric weed amplifying Bong Spudgun, the THC smoke in the bong is hit by 220v and the air in the bong expands quickly giving the user a direct hit… recomended only for the advanced users or people with terminal illness… ^^


  65. This is the Neuralizer-Flash-Tube, used by the Men in Black. Normaly it is much smaller, but this one was used in the Statue of Liberty for erasing the Memory of all Citizens of New York.


  66. An Aluminum Extruded Football, cement-filled!


  68. A hot babe driving a car!


  69. Mash potatoes


  70. it isn’t great lasagna on a spoon


  71. It is a low-res computer generated picture depiction, of what a pre-neutron star going supernova looks like.


  72. It’s a prototype diet-cola and mentos combustion chamber for hybrid cars that will never see production because it’s owned by OPEC


  74. The US Republican candidate for president’s chief-of-staff.


  75. Good, clean fun for the whole family.


  76. Less intelligent or talented than Paris Hilton.


  77. I know what it is… It brought me severe headaches!

    Its coming from the educational area of society. I saw it first at a boot camp I attended where it was used to sort out alcohol particles is a wine/beer processing device. Just fill it with beer or wine and attach it to a hi-pot electrical source. Then submerse the wider part into cold water. After the process is done, alcohol-free beer or wine is below the filter (left in this picture.)
    Very confusing picture because the device has to be turned 90 degrees counter-cloclockwise to be used!

    Alan, If I win, please donate the value of the prize to some good humanitary fund. I’m just playing for the honour (this time 🙂 )


  78. It’s an antique distiller used for urine samples. You swirl it around and then lay the flask back on the wooden support and let the fumes distill and trickle their way down. Way back when this is how cops used to check you for a DUI/DWI. Apparrently very well used due to the stains on the neck.


  79. Very sad: The first time in this contest I know what it really is.


  80. it’s a doohickey


  81. It’s a sad story to say that at one time this device was once a great cornerstone in the society of the pudding people.
    In 3020 BC the king of the pudding people wielded this weapon of power and fertility as a means to protect his empire from the vile man eating danish pastry. unfortunately a usurper to the throne managed to steal the flute of will, and in an attempt to use the power of his own banished his people to the dimension of fickle time and energy.


  82. sorry Enzer Milliard I missed your post please disregard mine.


  83. It’s not a night-light (is it?)


  84. that is definitely NOT a speculum. (where’d my other post go?)


  85. The item is a contactless cavity search device. When hooked up to a USB connection with proper software installed, the bulbous end is aimed at the desired cavity and the image is captured. It makes cavity searches at the airport quicker, less painful, more hygienic, and saves rubber gloves.


  86. It’s none of the things mentioned her so far, and by no means is an item described in any of the long drawn out story like comments. It’s something else entirely.


  87. First atenpt for “neuralisator” (memory eraser) from MIB film!


  88. I guess this is one of those glass cannon my sister spoke of.


  89. This is a DialUpAnywhere from iWantDialupNow. Using the power of 56k and on-the-fly compression, you can get internet from you Pocket PC, PalmOS(R) device, PC, Mac, iPod, virtually anything electronic! With its built-in phosphor screen, you can even surf the Web without an external device. The way this device works is by using the cell phone infrastructure to connect to the Internet. For $29.95 (S&H included) you can unleash the power of the Internet! For a limited time, you can WIN a Pocket PC, Palm T|X, your choice of ANY Alienware computer, an iMac, and a free home theatre! Go to iwantdialupanywhere.com to enter or order NOW!

    (C) 2008 iWantDialupNow. All rights whatevered.


  90. it is an old gamma radiation douche. The gamma radiation is emitted from the plate at the back and combined with a vinegar formula at the front input tube and electrons are introduced into the formula at the middle tube. the electrons bond with the vaginal goop which releases itself from the uterine wall thus rendering the cooch orderless.


  91. All comments too nerdy and sucks 🙁


  92. @therian: because yours is great. A jock really needs a cable tester..


  93. it’s that glass thing that does that thing


  94. It is a CRT.


  95. It´s a fluoroscope……or I die!


  96. It’s the Olympic torch from the first televised games in 1936.


  97. It’s the beam generator for DOCTOR LENARD’S HAIR TATTOO(tm). Whether your goal is a Lily Munster patch or a full body zebra-stripes treatment, Hair Tattoo comes through(tm). After the painful radiation-blisters fall away, hair follicles will be permanently altered to only produce filaments of frosty white.


  98. This is the first prototype of the 1080p compatible CRT display for consumer use. The developer had hoped that it would be adopted for the new fibre-optic data-streaming interface intended to replace HDMI 1.3 . Unfortunately, when the final design for the 60 inch HDTV display assembly called for a 10kva air-cooled power supply for the filament alone, project funding was withdrawn, and it never developed beyond the 5 inch diagonal screen shown in the picture.


  99. Cathode Ray Tube


  100. This is most definately an optical cable tester. It projects the various light rays from the cable onto the large domed surface for easy visual debugging.

    It was recalled in 2006 for causing blindness in 99.7% of technicians. They were quoted to be “blinded by the light”


  101. Its what you put in your tv to get free cable…


  102. Its the one and only scope for James Bonds one and only glass gun which will be shown in the new 007 movie “Quantum of Solace”


  103. It isn’t a heated cathode CRT with deflection plates, deflection
    yoke assembly and shadow mask with red, blue and green
    phosphors and electron beam velocity modulation with dynamic convergence. That’s what it’s not. And, no I never was
    a TV repairman.


  104. It’s definitely a 1940’s thermometer for babies with Hydrocephalus.


  105. wow thats sad…. but its definitely not the greatest bongc… but… its got potential.


  106. Cathode Ray Tube for x rays


  107. Cathode Ray Tube for x rays for cats


  108. Holy S***, those r da secret weapon form Rusia!! I hv 1 of these seating outside of my house in georegia. Y won’t the US govament do sth about s*** going on in they’re own backyard?


  109. That isn’t a water bong. That CERTAINLY isn’t MY water bong either…

    Give me three minutes, a filter and some duct tape, and it might be…. ;P


  110. It’s gotta be the at-home three step colon detox kit. I went through three of these puppies back in the 1960’s during the great colon scare. They were state of the art at the time, an oasis in the desert, replacing the traditional finger method. A true testament to the ingenuity of man. This one doesn’t look like it’s been used yet though.


  111. Its what my dad burned me with when i spilled paint in the garage…


  112. Its a small off duty chekoslavakian traffic warden
    Its a Red and blue striped golfing umbrella
    Its the bolivian navy on maneuvers in the south pacific


  115. It looks like Alan must be on vacation or he would have removed
    about half of the comments. My great-great grandfather was from
    Ireland, btw.

    So, does anyone know what contest #56 was?

    One more guess as to what it’s not. It’s a test apparatus for an automatic
    cow milking machine. If the machine can get something out of this, it’s
    working really well.


  116. I can tell you what it’s not. It’s not what you think it is.


  117. Actually, it is what I think it is, I just can’t tell you what I think it is.


  118. Hi Fran,

    Not on vacation. 🙂 The last contest winner will be announced tomorrow.


  119. The Braun tube, this small early 1900 tube is in fact a cold Cathode Crookes tube with an internal mica screen covered with phosphorescent paint. The neck contains a glass diaphragm with a small 2mm hole to let only a tiny electron beam go through (focus) which can be deflected by an (electro) magnet to produce a spot on the screen.


  120. This is obviously a time space continuim distortion array used in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III however in the movie they had to disguise it so people would not try to steal it and they also wanted to use the sound effects from the classic Dr. Who.


  121. duh. its a glass dildo for squirrels with large hands.


  122. It’s the past home of a genie-in-a-bottle genie.


  123. It’s not a dick of a glass-elefant, because glass-elefants don’t got weird extentions on their dicks.


  124. don’t believe all you read here – its not glass – its a new make-you-all believe its glass device. So, if you beam at something, anything – YOU will believe its glass.. its not..

    i think.. glass.. must..be.. oh my god.. its Active!


  125. It definitely isn’t what it’s never supposed to be, it is however what it isn’t supposed to be.


  126. it is what it is! or is it?


  127. It’s the only way to make a good cup of coffee around here


  128. kaptin kaptin.. wee foundh tha Dailitiom kristal Chambre – finally we can go hoom –

    Ai ai, Snotty.. Beam it up.. and go..

    Behold! High on speed- low on drag..


  129. its not a tumor.
    nor is it a new high tech hi def tv set for minimalists….or is it? hmmmmm


  130. The key to my heart.


  131. you’re worst nightmare


  132. it’s anything that it isn’t


  133. it isnt butter!


  135. Winner announced.

    They were fun to read! Thanks for all the entries. 🙂


  136. (Oh, I guess I didn’t have the funniest one up there after all.)



  139. a step to a TV discovery – CRT

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