Guess what this isn’t contest – 4

90

No emails this time, we are going to do another Guess what this isn’t contest. We had lots of fun on the last one! Simply reply in the comments what this device isn’t and let us know what you would pick from ThinkGeek. ๐Ÿ™‚ Make it funny, crazy, weird… Just use your imagination. You can enter more than once if you come up with more than one thought. With a short vote the best comment will win the prize. The prize this week is a Gift Certificate to ThinkGeek for $50.00. This contest will run from December 20, 2008 – December 26, 2008 . Ending time is based on central standard time.

Have a look at my first comment for an example entry.

———————————–———-

Added January 6, 2009

In case you are curious this is where the image came from.

The winner is Matrix  for comment 30.

Thanks to all who entered, these were so much fun to read!

This is the winning comment:

"Now, you blighters have it all wrong seeing as I am the one who built the first of these. What you have there is your classic third generation interstellar gate (not to be confused with your chrono-gate or “time machine” as some others have implied) It has a few fundamental changes from my model 1 gate, but despite the various improvements, the operation remains the same.

To begin, the user engages the motor to the right (my original used steam, but this obviously uses some form of brushed electrical system) which, by spinning the flux bar (shown here to be nearly vertical in orientation) begins to induce a strong electro-gravitational distortion… a “space warp” if you will. The user then fine-tunes his “space warp” using the levers on the left of the device to select his specific destination in 3 dimensional space. After setting, all that remains to be done is for the user to walk calmly and briskly through the gate to his destination.

I notice some improvements over my original design here, in that the model 3 up there has a rather large pair of temporal stabilizers (seen as the two larger protrusions on the left and right of the flux bar). That, coupled with the smaller aetheric condensors (seen here as the two smaller devices set to the far left and far right, beyond the temporal stabilizers) serve to ensure the user does not 1) accidentally cross time-lines and end up in some other universe and 2) prevents an accumulation of aetheric and gravitational particles (graviolis). Too large a concentration of gravioli can cause, at times, a massive implosion of the local time-space surrounding the device. Needless to say, being reduced to a singularity can really throw the wrench in otherwise grandiose plans for interstellar vacationing."

————————————–———-

Below is a picture of what I would buy with a $50 gift certificate at  ThinkGeek. ๐Ÿ™‚

You May Also Like

Name the Thing Contest รขโ‚ฌโ€œ 199

Name the Thing Contest – 40

Name the Thing Contest – 185

90 Comments


  1. This is a noodle making machine from the 1940s. As you can see the dough is pushed into the forming rollers at the right of the pictures. It is then spun onto the 4 foot noodle bobbin, if you were not aware this was the standard size that noodles were packaged in back in the day. In modern times we are spoiled with hand held noodle packages instead of the conventional over the shoulder method that was used in the 40s. Of course I should mention that there are various levers, dials and weights shown, these were used for adjusting the noodle thickness and ensured the noodles were properly wound onto the noodle bobbin.

    I would get this from ThinkGeek http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/lights/a7c5/


  2. This is a pre digital steam powered pocket watch a must have for every watch aficionado.


  3. This is a key used to open a gateway into the The Clockwork Nirvana of Mechanus. It is activated by flipping the two switches on the left and aligning the dial before starting the motor.


  4. oh yeah and my thinkgeek Item would have to be a Pertelian External LCD Display v5


  5. It’s a partially complete steampunk Antikythera Mechanism reproduction built by Nikola Tesla designed to count down the days until the Mayan Doomsday so that he can kick-start the end of it all. The Tesla coil and Doomray are missing though.

    (And the drum machine shirt sounds too awesome to pass up.)


  6. This is Thomas A. Edisons prototype of a waffle iron.


  7. Ah, the famous pizza balancing machine. Still used in Italy for the yearly pizza throwing contest. In that game the pizza is thrown like a frisbee, so it must be properly balanced. The pizza is placed in this machine and rotated very fast. Any unbalance can be detected and also the weight is tested. The weight has to be according game regulations ofcourse.


  8. It’s a device for ripping sub atomic particles from the surface of a spinning disc.
    It stores them in a jar. The particles can be used, often by school children, to create interesting hair styles or brief moments of pain


  9. This does not turn hay into gold, it doesn’t assemble your shattered memories from a shattered past, it doesn’t dice your hard-boiled eggs into manageable portions. It is, however, a Shamwow. It can absorb six times its weight in cola.

    You’ll be saying “Wow” every time!


  10. This is a prototype automatic plate washing machine from the early 1920s. The user would attach the plate to the disc via the magnets around the edge and put the cover overtop. The plate would spin while being sprayed with two high-pressure water jets, while the brush that would have attached to the T-shaped bit at the left scrubbed and dried it. The prototype was never completed, as the designers eventually realized that plates are not magnetic.
    As for $50 at ThinkGeek, I’d probably just blow it on funny posters and stickers. :-p


  11. This is a prototype Flux Capacitor to have its augmented version later be used in the Back to the Future trilogy. This specific version of the Flux Capacitor model was scrapped due to its inability to retain a sufficient amount of magnetic flux and so the time machine didn’t work. Also it would smell terrible when it was running for more than two minutes!
    As for me, I have had my eye on that The Ultimate Hoodie – an International Icon

    http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/hoodies/97e1/


  12. Its HG Wells time machine, its a classic and only 113 years on the clock and still runs like a clockwork.


  13. This is not the steam punk version of the power modulator which powers Santas sleigh. He doesn’t have one, he’s got his reindeers. Here’s how it works: By some unknown reason a lรƒยก Sci-Fi the big wheel will start to spin, which will cause it to defy the laws of gravity. Please note, this will only defy Newton’s laws gravity. To defy Einsteins laws of gravity and space time, you will need the upgraded version, steam punk power modulator 2.0, which futures an LCD display and the option of switching between up to 5 variations of the laws of gravity!

    http://www.thinkgeek.com/computing/input/965b/


  15. I knew what it is since first time i saw it. It’s an old flux condenser like the one I used with my Model T to come here.


  17. It isn’t a bipolar zero potential energy concentrator for a green energy project to start your fossil fuel powered moped, thus saving you the need to kick start the two stroke engine.


  18. This is the original game of Mousetrap. You turn the crank on the lower left, which ignites a burner to run the pistons. This causes the big wheel to spin, knocking the post with the hammer down onto the next post. That post falls onto the button which turns on the motor. Finally, the poor mouse is fed through the cheese grater on the right. The original game was not a success for obvious reasons…so it was replaced by the version “which flips the man into the pan”, etc.

    I would get this from ThinkGeek: http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/travelpower/b1a6/


  19. Ahh. This would be a time-space warping device. The cylinder on the far right is a radioisotope thermoelectric generator for powering the motor to the left of it. The motor compresses time-space in the right tube and expands time-space in the left tube creating a warp field.

    Now there are two problems with this model.
    1. It is too small. No human could fit between the two piston tubes.
    2. How do you steer it?

    This must be the prototype designed to be used by hamsters. They can steer it by running in the wheel cage (this picture fails to show the sides of the cage). They can change the direction by running backwards.

    It was originally used to go into the future to find out if hamsters will (eventually) rule the world. (Yes, they will.)


  20. This is actually รขโ‚ฌล“Steampunk Wheel of Fortuneรขโ‚ฌย. You should see รขโ‚ฌล“Steampunk Vanna Whiteรขโ‚ฌย….HOT!!!!


  21. Actually, this is an early 1900’s male masturbation device. Just stick that hoohah in there, and the machine will do the rest. (Slightly creepy, but best I could come up with ;P )
    Here’s something good for my OCD at fast food restaraunts: http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/gear/8f84/
    ๐Ÿ˜›


  22. It is as death clock when the time reaches 3 & 9 it is your time.


  23. The first Hard Drive prototype.


  24. This is definitely NOT a Laserdisc rewinder with integrated rev-counter and surface demagnetizer.

    From Thinkgeek i like the laser star projector (The only problem will be the conversion to 230 Volts :-/ )


  25. Why the answer is quite obvious! It is the initial prototype for the Thinkgeek Exposed Flip Clock: http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/lights/a84a/?cpg=ab, which just happens to be what i would get if i win. ๐Ÿ™‚

    (if this is a double post by me, i apologize, i submitted this once, but it apparently did not go through)


  26. It is a centrifuge for enriching nuclear material to make bombs, don’t let Iran get a hold of this classified item.


  27. This isn’t a steam-punk sump pump, wet basement’s beware…

    I love the clock displayed above, but my closet wants to get a bunch of T-Shirts, or maybe just replace my busted-up messenger bag.


  30. Now, you blighters have it all wrong seeing as I am the one who built the first of these. What you have there is your classic third generation interstellar gate (not to be confused with your chrono-gate or “time machine” as some others have implied) It has a few fundamental changes from my model 1 gate, but despite the various improvements, the operation remains the same.

    To begin, the user engages the motor to the right (my original used steam, but this obviously uses some form of brushed electrical system) which, by spinning the flux bar (shown here to be nearly vertical in orientation) begins to induce a strong electro-gravitational distortion… a “space warp” if you will. The user then fine-tunes his “space warp” using the levers on the left of the device to select his specific destination in 3 dimensional space. After setting, all that remains to be done is for the user to walk calmly and briskly through the gate to his destination.

    I notice some improvements over my original design here, in that the model 3 up there has a rather large pair of temporal stabilizers (seen as the two larger protrusions on the left and right of the flux bar). That, coupled with the smaller aetheric condensors (seen here as the two smaller devices set to the far left and far right, beyond the temporal stabilizers) serve to ensure the user does not 1) accidentally cross time-lines and end up in some other universe and 2) prevents an accumulation of aetheric and gravitational particles (graviolis). Too large a concentration of gravioli can cause, at times, a massive implosion of the local time-space surrounding the device. Needless to say, being reduced to a singularity can really throw the wrench in otherwise grandiose plans for interstellar vacationing.


  32. Its a prototype of a wormhole generator, millions of dollars went in to the development of this marvelous machine but it turned out like most prototypes it dosent work. Later the scientists found its a very good pencil sharpener. So in the end this is the worlds most expensive pencil sharpener!


  33. this is an early prototype of a digital wall clock


  34. You’re all wrong. It’s a Dream Puff cookie maker, you can see the cookie bottom perforator on the right, and the drum where the chocolate coating is applied. As in most early mechanical projects, the cream had to be applied by hand and set before they could apply the chocolate coating, otherwise you’d just make a big mess.

    I would most definitely buy that clock that Alan is touting. http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/lights/a7c5/?cpg=cj
    Either that, or I would get this nifty scrolling LED sign… http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/lights/afe6/ and change it to amber/orage LEDs so it would be legal where I am.


  36. I saw a picture of one of these in an old meseum archive. It’s a stand the Romans used to use to balance their chariot wheels.The motor at the right was just put there to throw the guesers off. I do not wish a prize for just enlitening the contestants.


  37. Dick Cheney’s heart.


  38. OMG! Where did you find this?? It’s a prototype of a 1792 hadron collider, which this particular model wasn’t put into production until 1794.


  39. maybe next time I should read the comments before posting :p


  40. This is the world’s oldest (albeit mechanical) x86 CPU. It runs at 20 Hz and 0.000000012 MIPS. It consumes 12 Watts of power (from the motor) and the excess heat is expelled from the rightmost needle-studded cylinders. Because of its lack of power, it was only good for simple calculations; even a text interface was too much for it. Ahh, it’s good that we have silicon! ๐Ÿ™‚


  41. Well i guess it’s not Pizza hut’s original design to solve the issue of pizza size inconsistancy concerning their early attempts at mass production.


  42. I’m surprised this picture has been leaked.
    It’s the device used in Amazon’s Frustration Free Packaging. It’s used to remove the items from the packaging. They do this so you don’t have to spend 6 hours on Christmas morning opening up your child’s Fisher Price Pirate Ship.
    Here is the link from Amazon on the feature:
    http://www.amazon.com/gp/help/customer/display.html/?nodeId=200285450#difference
    As far as ThinkGeek, there are several small things I would get, but the one that caught my eye was the Japanese Lucky Golden Poo.


  43. A vintage Nutcracker


  44. Well guys I know what it is but I’m not sayin it’s too easy try something harder next time.


  45. Itรขโ‚ฌโ„ขs a Denon Vertical Turntable.


  46. Its a super sized cd/dvd/blue ray resurfacer gets even the super deep scratches out.


  47. Well, it ISN’T the TSOP-48 pkg NAND chip reader I’m assembling from some 24-conductor .5 mm flat cable, 2 Dell drive rails, a combo SMC/Xd chip reader, other stuff from the scrap bin and a whole lot of thought and BST!


  48. its [redacted] it was originally found when the [redacted] landed in [redacted] in the year of [redacted]


  49. This is the device that Doc Brown built in 1885 to give his train the ability to time travel. The original machine was powered by the steam engine of the train, but was upgraded with the AC motor when he decided to stop by his house in 1955. Right after installing the AC motor, he went to the future, pimped out the train with Mr. Fusion and levitation, then returned to 1985 to make sure Marty got out of the Delorean before getting smashed by a freight train.


  50. This is obviously a Nephilim maker. As the Bible says, in the end it will be like as it was in the day of Noah. Now we’re faced with this horrible invention: The Giant Maker!


  52. im pretty sure this isnt the lastest pizzadough spinning machine from china.
    but if it is you can get it at walmart in about three months time.


  53. This is not a fixed half past eleven clock and should change it for a led binary watch


  54. You guys are way off! This is a family board game! This was the production model of the popular hit television show “Wheel of fortune”. Due to the poor quality of the image you can’t see the numbers marked into that wheel though, you can however see the black dot which was the bankrupt. The reason it never made it into many homes is due to the fact it could only be powered by gas, which made it hard to play, after about 2 rounds everybody would fall asleep and never wake up due to fumes.

    With a 50$ gift card I would buy myself this baby
    http://www.thinkgeek.com/computing/input/7e3e/
    Pertelian External LCD Display v5

    You can never have too many readouts


  55. I had one of these when I was a kid!
    I got it for Christmas in 1964. Mom was really mad at
    Santa for bringing that one! If you ever get one,
    DO NOT hook it up to a combination of Tinker Toys, Lincoln
    Logs, and Deluxe Erector Set.
    And if you do, DO NOT bypass the battery holder and hook it up to household current!
    And if you do, DO NOT turn it on.
    And if you do, DO NOT turn it on in the house!
    And if you do,
    DO NOT have any siblings or family pets close enough to get
    snagged by whirling parts! You would’t believe the mess it
    can make!
    If I won the ThinkGeek gift card, I’d probably have to re-gift it anyway… you know…ThinkGeek has that silly old restraining order.


  56. That is the view from underneath the Roulette Wheel at the local Indian Reservation. I always thought that thing was rigged, this proves it!


  57. This is Thomas Edison’s attempt at building a hoax perpetual motion device to try to gain some points after losing out to Tesla in the DC vs AC battle. Unfortunately Edison didn’t quite grasp the concept of hiding the motor that powers it.

    If I won, I would get the personal soundtrack t-shirt, no contest
    http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/interactive/a5bf/


  58. This is obviously the circa 1888 prototype moto-roto-mechano-pulsedrive system, with enhance knobified do-daditry for the avian
    techno-thirst quenching system…or simply put: a mechanized drinky bird!


  59. I think, it’s the prototype of the Large Hadron Collider! This particle accelerator doesn’t need as much power as the new one and is able to collide protons with higher energies than everything else. Even Greenpeace helped to build it from cheap an biological materials like wood! But some dumb ass scientist lost a finger when playing around with it, so they decided to build a bigger one, where no one could loose a finger…


  60. C’mon you guys…jeez..This is OBVIOUS!!
    All of the items attached to the wood…
    are there to prevent the wood from becoming ANTI-WOOD…once it passes through a black hole.
    next item please!! : )


  62. I can’t believe that nobody has figured this out.

    It’s the alpha version of the Stepford Wife.

    And if I get to spend a certificate at ThinkGeek, this week’s obsession is with this: http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/lights/831e/


  63. It’s an electric monkey shaver, similar to the ones found in most middle-school history books. This model is circa 1960’s, before the electrical transmission lines were popular in the West. Hence, you can see the black generator and radiator combination on the right. In the foreground you’ll see two glass tubes, those contain counterweights. In the prototypes the monkey would spin out, and one would resort to crude monkey-untangling devices to straighten it. A barrel that size would only accommodate small to medium sized monkeys, and only one at a time. As such, this was probably a home device and not intended for industrial use. Later on, monkey shaving would be performed by robots, or robotically-enhanced lutefisk. Of course, since the creation of PETA and PETA’s Archipelago of the South, monkey-fur has fallen deeply out of style, and there are few examples of such devices to be found today.

    And with the current state of the environment accelerating the coming of the Mutant Wars, I’d have to add only the most practical of items, the Gladiator Helmet, to my defense supplies.


  64. Well, I once saw this down in someone’s garage sale. I asked the man, a rather eccentric looking chap with hair white as snow and thick glasses, what this was. In response, the man launched into an absolutely brilliant description of what is known as the “Wimshurst Machine”.

    “This machine,” he told me, “was an amazing electrostatic generator consisting of two, large, contra-rotating discs that generated a large static charge by separation of electric charges via a fascinating principle called ‘electrostatic induction’ or ‘influence’.”

    Sipping calmly from his glass of iced-tea, he continued, “When the discs of the machine are rotated in opposite directions, an imbalanced charge is induced and then stored in two metal collectors until the dielectric breakdown voltage of the air is reached and the collectors bridge the gap with a spark.”

    My jaw was dropped to the floor as he told me about this amazing contraption… such a simple concept that generated such an astoundingly high voltage that it could cause a spark of THAT length! I simply must have this machine, I thought… so I asked him how much he wanted for his Wimshurst Machine.

    “Oh, that?” he asked, pointing to the very machine in the picture. “You got me all wrong, buddy! That’s just an old record player!”
    —

    ba-dum kssh. I’m still interested in http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/science/af4c/


  65. I heard sony were giving their next playstation a vintage look but this is ridiculous. Just look how big the discs are. I hope they are stil blu ray as they will be bloody massive games.


  66. Hi Ben,

    This new disk format is to prevent counterfeiting. ๐Ÿ™‚


  67. I am guessing that it is NOT:

    An official Red Ryder carbine action two hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time.

    If it is, I’ll almost certainly shoot my eye out. I mean, come on. How on earth are you going to shoot Black Bart with that thing? He’s far more likely to get soap poisoning from it.


  68. Oh, and what I would pick: Probably some miraculin tablets. I gotta try that.


  69. It obviously a device designed to measure to true roundness of a woman’s buttocks or breasts. The more round they are the more perfectly it will draw a circle. Once I find a perfect woman with this device I would buy her a snug fitting “got root” t-shirt.


  71. it was used for the bonus rounds of Japanese gameshows from the 1920’s

    i would put it towards a RFID Experimentation Kit in the spirit of hacked gadgets. then put a tag in each of my folders for classes, certain websites and programs open. was it a radio?

    thanks!


  72. It’s not a Dilithium matrix chamberm

    Tuttuki Bako Virtual Finger Game from thinkgeek.com


  73. Flux Capacitor V1.0


  74. this is the best espresso machine that was made in the 1920s. It was every baristas dream to at least use one of these. It all starts in that huge circular chamber and percolates into the vials then gets compressed down into a thick foamy shot(cause all baristas know its the head that makes the shot!). After it completely fills the right chamber up it turns on a motor that plays some smooth jazz music to let you know its done. Man, had I known these were still around I wouldn’t have ever wasted my time on a MR beany!


  75. Large, metallic, clunky, requiring much maintenance and hand operated….a (genuine)copy of windows vista no less.

    as for the second question, i wouldnt mind one of those clock things like Alan mentioned above.


  76. It is a victorian hearing aid, developed by Nikola Tesla to help him communicate with dutchmen.


  77. this is the machine used by Doctor Frankenstein to bring to life his monster. just hook it up to the “specimen” and when lightning strikes this baby will bring back to life anything from your dead dog to brother’s mom’s sister’s twice removed cousin who died from your grandmother’s cooking.
    Side effects may include but are not limited to Abdominal bleeding, anemia, black stool, blood in urine, blurred vision, changes in heatbeat, chills, confusion, congestive heart failure, dry eyes and mouth, emotional volatitity, fever, hair loss, hearing loss, hepatitis, hives, inability to sleep, inflammation of nose, inflammation of the pancreas or stomach, kidney or liver failure, servere allergic reactions, shortness of breath, skin eruptions or peeling, sleepiness, stomach or upper intestinal ulcer, vision loss, vomiting blood, wheezing, yellow eyes and skin.
    http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/watches/a8bc/


  79. Skullker is close. It’s the actual device used to jump-start the nation’s VP every morning.

    More importantly, after Jan 20th it will be slightly modified by the economic transition team to automatically generate the sequences of stimuli needed to boost the economy again, and again, and again. Its main advantage will be that its operational cost are lower than that of printing money in increasingly larger denominations. Unfortunately, it is projected that, in 2011, the machine will fail under the workload of pumping impulses into the continually reducing economic impedance which by then will resemble a short circuit.


  80. this is obviously the first atomic alarm clock! cant you tell?


  81. This thing plays music!


  82. This is an atomic, unbreakable bond glue maker. It has a hammer to test each batch of glue’s unbreakability (which, of course, never varies.) you put the ingredients in the large circular chamber, which then spins extremely quickly (like a centrifuge), mixing the ingredients thoroughly. It then deposits the glue into a special, anti-stick bowl, coated with a superstickophobous substance. Once the glue is poured, it solidifies within 30 seconds, so you must be quick in the application. Once it hardens, nothing short of Einstein, Kepler, and Newton combined could separate the objects glued together.


  84. @ Daniel

    Right! it’s WinAmp version -.001 lol

    Great response to this contest!


  85. This is clearly Bill Gates first Hard Disk Drive


  86. Read the info. The contest is closed.


  87. When is the result going to be posted?


  89. Thanks Alan! I’m interested to see.


Comments are closed.